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Research: The start of it all

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We wanted to wait for gay marriage to be legalised in Australia. We refuse to have it overseas as it looks very ‘show-offy’ to go have a wedding just for a party and then return to nothingness. Why even bother? We want to settle in Australia and so we should marry anywhere (including Australia) when the Australian law decides we can.

Look at the gay couples who marry in New Zealand or in some exotic country that legalised it before this post, and it makes me annoyed. Oh, I am happy for them to make the decision to do so, but what is the point of taking that marriage certificate back to Australia and it becomes scrap paper as soon as it enters the country? We wanted to wait and do it ‘properly’, or what we felt was ‘proper’. We wanted to wait until we marry and then have kids. With the way Australian government is doing it, it doesn’t seem to be happening anytime soon. What a circus.

So we have decided to change our mindset – we won’t wait for the government to do what is necessary for us to marry anymore. We are not getting any younger and the more we wait, the more we will regret not having kids when we can. We can’t possibly be in our 50’s and then have kids. Not that it would look like a joke and that we have absolutely poor family planning, but more that we just won’t be able to keep up with them! We had a chat and decided that we should be happy and do it for us, not wait for the government to decide when we can be happy. We agreed to start the research. I was going to research like how I did back in early 2000’s.

Back then, I was using Hotmail and all my correspondences were in that email account, but I realised that I couldn’t get back in, and when I did get in (the domain name became ‘’) I found that all my emails were gone. Vanished. It was a bit annoying, but then again, it wasn’t a great loss as most of my correspondences were with Indian surrogacy agencies but they are not applicable now as Australia has banned Indian commercial surrogacy. So back to the drawing board where I will head back into Yahoo Groups and see what I can gather and where I can get information quickly.

Anyway, I found a few places to have read about updated surrogacy laws in Australia. There are Rainbow Families and Gay Dads Australia. Then from there, I found Families Through Surrogacy which provided very clear information about the surrogacy laws everywhere! That is great! A one-stop shop to find out where we could go and which are the high-risk countries. Rodney Chiang-Cruise is a very active member of Gay Dads Australia. I remember Rodney’s name as his surrogacy story traveled around gay community. I followed him on and off over the years and I looked him up when I saw his name again. He has a blog too. Their son Ethan was born through surrogacy in India.

Through that, I also found another blog called ‘Two Dad Family‘. in 2011, they had their really cute and beautiful twins Thomas and Alice through surrogacy in India. Their stories inspired us to blog about it.

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