We didn’t know it. We didn’t know when it hit us but when we knew what was going on, we were surprised at how early it had taken a toll on our minds and our bodies. We thought the emotional journey would probably start when we know that we are pregnant. We were so wrong. It all started late last year when we were told by our surrogacy agency that we have been chosen by our lovely surrogate. If anyone has read our post on how fast our matching process was, they would know how scattered and surprised we were. The emotional side of things did not really register. We were at the bottom of a landslide. We didn’t know what kind of stress that we will be going through just to fulfil our dreams of having our own family.
What was so emotionally draining and stressful about? Well, the cost and the frequency of having to fork out money to various parties. Now we are looking at paying the egg donor agency and the surrogacy agency first, and then the big one will come later in the form of IVF Clinic costs. It is hard not to focus on money and how much we are putting out there. It is a very expensive exercise and we are not even certain that we will be getting a birth in the first round of embryo transfer!
Right now, we have not even gotten the egg donor on meds to begin the journey for egg retrieval. We have not even seen any contracts (egg donor and surrogacy contracts) yet! This is definitely taking longer than what we thought would take… but the slow timing is definitely helping to loosen up the tension on money going out.
So far, we feel like there is not much of any movement on the lawyers and the agencies’ sides. We are still in contact with our lovely surrogate, who is still very keen on carrying our baby for us. There has been a few miscommunication between all the various parties, and we are just going with the flow and trying to pay as and when we are required to.
Cam and I are still hopeful and we are keeping our minds sane, keeping each other strong including the relationship, and keeping each other in check on stress levels. We don’t have anyone to lean on except for each other. Unless you are in it, you just don’t know how emotionally tiring it is. From the outside, people think it is easy – just pay and then wait for the birth. No way, there is a lot more that comes with it… all for wanting a family. We are still at the beginning of this wild roller coaster ride, but we know we have each other on the ride, holding each other’s hands ever so tightly.
